


Missing Days

by 7h13f_0f_l1gh7



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist (Anime 2003), Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Alchemy, Altered Plot, Alternate Ending, Alternate Universe, Blood, F/M, Fluff, Homunculi, Torture, homunculus reader
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-04
Updated: 2015-07-04
Packaged: 2018-04-07 14:42:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 9,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4267203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/7h13f_0f_l1gh7/pseuds/7h13f_0f_l1gh7
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You had known Edward and Alphonse throughout your childhood. But will the hardships of being a State Alchemist tear the two of you apart? The title of Shadow Alchemist has proven to be more than you thought, and a bit difficult despite your skills in alchemy. With the dark secrets of bloodshed and betrayal in your past starting to be uncovered, how will Alphonse be able to look at you the same? Edward has begun to ice you out, and wants you nowhere near his brother. So how will you deal with your feelings if you aren't even allowed to see him?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Intro

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize for the shortness of this first chapter

You miss the days when you used to paint, or when you were able to tend to the flower garden that sat behind your house. You miss your hands... they used to be so gentle and precise with their work. Alphonse would often marvel at the small, delicate strokes you were able to produce in your paintings on a canvas. Small hands as Edward would tease, to which you would simply tease back about his height. Things never ended well after that. But Eward was right; your hands were small, but they got the job done.

Remorsefully, you stare down at your automail hands, and shiver. Now they are clumsy and cold. 

 _"Not any hand that someone would want to hold..."_  You think to yourself, blushing as your mind wanders to Alphonse. But you shake your head quickly, ashamed. He probably doesn't even give a second thought about liking you. You're just his childhood friend. Nothing more. But it certainly isn't nothing either.

Your automail hands clank as you shift them in your lap. They are too clumsy to paint. You don't have enought control over your fingers to do so, and even though you've had years to get used to it, it has never been enough to paint again. Your garden has become a jungle of overgrown weeds caged in a wroght iron fence. The flowers have since withered and died.

You clench your hands as you remember, trembling as the awful memory comes back to you. It might have been six years ago that you lost your hands... 

But you remember it like it was just yesterday.


	2. The Accident

_"Oh God._  
 _Oh God._  
 _It's going to get me. I swear it's going to get me."_  You think to yourself.

        Seven year old you is running through the small town Resembool. You didn't dare to look back at the hideous creature on your trail.

        Their house was so close. You could almost touch it. But the beast got a hold of you before you could touch the door to safety. It sinks its sharp teeth into your ankle, causing you to fall over. It began to growl and drag you backwards a couple feet. The pain was unbearable, and you screamed, hoping that Edward, Al, or Winry might have heard you. Anyone.

        The beast, which seemed to be half wolf, half some other terrible monster, narrows its eyes at you and throws you with a flick of it's jaws backwards down the hill.

        "(Y/N)!" I hear a high pitched voice scream as I hit the ground.

        "ALPHON-"

        A searing pain in your right hand cut off your yell to Al, which turned into a scream of pain. You looked to the beast with fear pooling in your eyes, and tears running down your cheeks. It began to bolt away from the house, dragging you with it by your right hand.

        There is a bright flash and you are again being flung through the air. You hit the ground hard. Most of the impact was to your head, cauing you to black out.

***

  
        When you woke up you nearly vomited and screamed at the same time. Your vision was rimmed with scarlet, and there was pain in not only your right hand, but both of your hands. Your hearing is rather cloudy, as if your ears were filled with cotton balls. Your head throbbed. But through all the inner chaos of your body, you could hear the quiet sobbing of someone. You turned my head. Big mistake. Pain shot down your spine immediately. A small yelp emitted from your shaking body.

 _"I feel so... tired... if I could just... sleep..."_   You think to yourself, the pain starting to overwhelm you to a breaking point.

        Your eyelids felt heavy. But through your exhaustion You could see a small boy with blonde hair. You don't know how you didn't notice before but it was raining. The weight of the water in his hair made his hair sag and hang in front of his eyes. He looked over at you, noticing that you are now awake.

        "...(Y/N)... you're awake?!" he questions amazed, wiping some tears from his eyes.

        

        You smiled, feeling safe now that you realized that it was Alphonse by your side. You are able to let out a small sigh of relief before the pain and blood loss caught up to you, making you sleepy again. You were able to stay awake just long enough to feel strong arms pick you up gently and to see sorrowful, but strong golden eyes stare down at you, as if they were telling you that everything would be all right.

***

What they didn't know, however, was the fact that you had seen this horrifying beast before. You'd seen it every day from the day you were born.      


	3. The Shadow Alchemist Gets Burned

        "Ms. (Y/N)," Roy formally addressed you, his over-flamboyance seeping his over-inflated ego into his every word, "How has your mission to further investigate these so called 'homunculi' been going?"

        You sink just a bit into your chair. Just the mention of those...  _things_... gave you the creeps. But you hadn't seen them in a while. Their activity seems to have died down... for the moment. But that doesn't make them any less dangerous.

        Roy took notice in your silence and chuckles. Your face turns a deep shade of red. "So I'm guessing you haven't found any new leads?"

        "It's not like I've been sitting around all day Roy," You sneer, "I've been searching around the best I can and I think you know that very well."

        Roy's clever smirk fades slightly, but then widens, "Very true, (L/N), but must I remind you who helped you become a state alchemist in the first place?"

        You grit your teeth. You hate it whenever Roy brings that up. It's not like you had any choice. You knew practically nothing about how to get in before Roy visited your apartment. But now you know that he only did it for his own selfish reasons. All he wanted was to propel himself further up in the ranks, and to one day become the Fuhrer. And one day pass the rule that required all female officers to wear mini-skirts... You can't help but shiver.

        Taking the cue that your silence meant you had no clever rebuttal, Roy continued, "You need to remember your place (L/N). It would be a shame if I were to turn my back just as a  _certain homunculi_ got its hands on you." _  
_

Your eyes widened, and your mouth opens in surprise.

         _What?! How does he know about that?! That's impossible!_

        As if he could read your mind he replied, "Did you really think that you were the only one I've asked to investigate the homunculi? I've dug up a lot of information on them from various... sources. Now. On to business. I need you to go collect Fullmetal and his brother Alphonse back in Resembool. He went back yesterday to get his arm repaired by his mechanic and Armstrong needs to go on a mission of great importance, and it can't wait until Fullmetal gets back. I need you to go and guard him for a while. He is to stay with you in Resembool until I contact you. Understood?"

        You nod, now a bit scared of what knowledge Roy could have that he could use against you. 

        "Thank you Ms. (Y/N). You are dismissed. I will have Maes take you to the train station. You are on the first train out."

        You get up and nod, "Thank you, Colonel Mustang."

        You quickly make your way out of his office, but the colonel stops you as you get to the doorway.

        "(Y/N), I think you and I need to have a discussion when you get back about these... homunculi, yes?"

        You slowly nod, noticing the glint in his eyes that could mean punishment if you were to disagree. You leave the room and are greeted by Maes, who as per usual, was raving about his daughter Elicia. It took all of your energy to keep calm the entire ride to the train station. 

        Maes leaves you as you board the train, but not without insisting you see one last picture of his "adorable" daughter. You had to admit, she was cute. With a smile, Maes shakes your hand, wishing you good luck, and returns back to Roy's office.

        After having boarded the train, you couldn't help but think about Mustang's words. The truth that he may know could ruin your chances of keeping your position as a State Alchemist, and worst of all, if you do lose your position, you won't have the protection or information you need desperately.

_How could he know about that homunculi?_

The train departs, and you quickly find your eyes drooping, until you drift off to sleep.

        


	4. Nightmare

        You are running through the streets of Resembool, but you are not your seven-year-old self. No, you are your former fifteen-year-old self. The one who was accepted as a State Alchemist a year after the famous Edward Elric, who was the youngest to become a State Alchemist, was accepted. There was a lot of talk after your acceptance, the people wondering if the newest generation would be the one to end the chaos occurring all around Amestris. But that's not important right now. What's important is the fact that your worst nightmare is chasing after you, just like that fateful day when you were seven- the day you lost your hands.

        "(Y/N)" the beast called after you in a raspy voice.

        You ran faster as the voice you were so familiar with and so terrified of seemed to get closer and closer. The beast ends up catching you, and pins you down to the ground. You squeeze your eyes shut and wait for the pain to start in your hands, or any other body part. But that never comes.

        "Well that's not very nice," the voice says, no longer raspy and very young and mischievous sounding. You open my eyes slowly to find my father standing above my body. "It's polite to look at people when they are talking to you."

        "Envy... you are no father of mine," you spit at the homunculi. 

        "Aha, then why is your eye like that then, my little kitten," he almost purrs.

        A mirror appears in front of your face. At first your eyes looked to be their normal (E/C) color, but then within a few seconds, your left eye turns into a reddish-purple orb with a slit for a pupil. It appeared to almost be glowing. 

        You gasp horrified at what you see. You squeeze your eyes shut again, hoping to get the image out of your mind. 

        Envy briskly grabbed your chin in a way that squeezed your cheeks. You cry out in pain as you feel your jaw pop. You open your eyes in the shock of the pain. Envy's eyes are the bright redish-purple that you saw in your left eye, and they look as though they could burn a hole through your soul they were staring at you with such intensity and anger.

        "Do you think that bringing you back was easy?!" he sneers at you with disgust, "It took me two years to get your stupid human mother to marry me. Then it took another six months for me to force her to make bring you back as a homunculi! I was so happy to dispose of her after her job was served. She was a real-"

        You smack him with all of your strength as rage inside of you boiled.

         _How dare he talk about your mother like that?! After all, all he is is a sadistic, manipulative coward that only looked out for himself!_

Envy only faltered for a moment, recovering from the unexpected blow to his face.

        "Why you little-"

        A hard punch follows his reply, and you are unable to hear anything else he says. Your ears are ringing, and you realize that he has hit you so hard you hit your head on the ground. You can feel a warm liquid on your temple, and you know that it has to be blood. Everything around you starts to get fuzzy, including the face of your enraged "father". 

        "Soon enough, my kitten, you and I will be reunited...and then you will understand. Everything will become clear."

        Everything went dark, and you feel like you are falling. You try to scream, but nothing seems to come out of your mouth. You can't move any of your limbs. Falling through the dark void, you fearfully flail your arms, but nothing happens.

        Nothing can help you where you are. And you are consumed by the void, turning into nothingness.


	5. Fever

        You woke up from your nightmare screaming. Sweat dripped down your face, and your throat was raw. You had no idea where you were. The only thing you could see was the dark environment around you. The last thing you remembered was falling asleep on the train, but it was very clear that you were no longer on the train to Resembool.

        Your breathing rapidly increased, and you started screaming even more. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see a faint pinkish glow. You got up from under some blankets, realizing that you were in someone's bed, and walked over towards the light, although a little clumsily. You feel somewhat funny and fuzzy in your head, and your temple feels like it has a little heartbeat as it throbs like a drum. 

        It wasn't a light. You scream for the third time since you've woken up. It's a ghastly sight. You are staring at your own reflection. Your left eye has turned itself into a homunculi eye, and was glowing faintly. Even with the dim light, you could see a bandage around your head, particularly around your temple.

         _Almost as if my dream were real..._

As your breathing slows down slightly, the glow starts to decrease. Noticing this change, you try and decrease your rapid breathing. Just like you thought, the glow faded to nothing.

        "Okay..." you murmur to yourself, "As long as I keep calm, that should go away..."

        Someone barged into the room through a door to your right, letting light flood into the room. Before you look, you see that your eye is back to normal, and in that split second you sigh with relief. But then the split second is gone and you realize that there is now someone else in the room with you. For a second you stumble as the light overwhelms you, making your head filled with a splintering pain and even more fuzzy than it was before, but then you recover. As a normal reaction to any possibly dangerous encounter, especially now that you are in an unknown place, you clap your hands together, and your automail fingers transform into ten, deadly, sharp, ten inch long knives. 

        "Wah! (Y/N)! It's me Edward! Calm down! You're safe here at Aunt Pinako's. Relax."

        You don't let your guard down. You knew better than to do that, especially after having been raised by Envy for two years before he vanished. When he beat you, in one of his sadistic moods, he would always take the form of someone you knew and cared about. Of course, this ranged from your mother, Alphonse, Edward, Winry, and even sometimes Aunt Pinako. You knew better than to let your guard down.

        You narrowed your eyes at the boy who claimed to be Edward. "Prove it," you spit, venom in your voice.

        "What?" fake-Edward said, his eyes widening, "What do you mean?"

        "Prove your not  _Envy,_ " you sneer with disgust, "transmute something."

        'Edward's golden orbs changed color, turning into reddish-purple ones, and before long Envy was standing before you.

        Your senses kicked into overdrive, and out of the corner of your eye you saw your eye start to glow again. A purplish-black glow enveloped your automail hands, which still were in the form of deadly claws. A dark shadow cast out all the light in the room, even though the light source from outside the room remained undisturbed and still glowed. Power surged through your veins.

        Envy shrieked and collapsed to the floor. More power entered your body. The glowing of your left eye increased, and you blacked out.

                                                                                ***

        When you regained your senses, Envy had you in a choke hold against the wall. The blackness in the room has vanished. You feel incredibly weak, and the wooden floor was gnarled with claw marks and was speckled with blood. There was pain in your leg.

        “It has started,” he said with a smirk.

        “Wah?!” you were able to choke out, completely dazed and unaware of what was going on.

        “Your homunculi personality has begun to take over. And it’s about time too…” he sneered viciously with a smirk and glaring eyes.

        _Is that what happened? Is that why I blacked out? I can’t remember a thing…_

        “Sorry kitten, but you’re going to have to come with me. I’m sure the the other homunculi would be pleased to have another ally to help us complete Father’s plans.”

        Envy applied pressure to the pressure point in your neck, and your head becomes fuzzy. You were about to pass out yet again, but there was a loud clap and Envy loosens his grip.

        Edward- the real Edward this time- was standing in the doorway, and his newly repaired arm was becoming a blade. The look on his face meant business. Envy’s grip on your neck released all together, which caused you to drop to the floor coughing.

        Envy smashed a window and transformed into a large raven before fleeing the room. Edward ran to the window, making sure that Envy was truly gone for good before transmuting his automail arm back to it’s original form. You sit up, having recovered from your coughing fit.

        “Well no wonder your arm keeps breaking!” Winry screams at Edward. She throws a wrench at his head, which he somehow ducks in time to avoid. “You keep using it like a weapon like that and of course it’s going to sustain wear! And to think I pulled two all-nighters in a row-”

        “Winry, not the time!” Edward scowls, turning his attention to you.

        With one glance at you Winry, gasped. Her mood turned serious, and she runs out of the doorway.

        “Where am I?” you ask groggily. Edward crouches down next to you, a confused expression on his face.

        "You're in Resembool. You wouldn't wake up when the train arrived, and your head was injured."

        "Wait, you knew I was coming?" 

        "Armstrong told us. He left just a few minutes ago," Edward pauses, examining your head, "Did something happen on the train?"

        "No... Not that I know about," you replied slowly.

        Edward reaches out with his left hand, his real one, and places it on your forehead.

        "Eh?" you questioned, a little shocked. You smacked his hand. You weren't comfortable with people touching you.

        "Hey!" Edward said, annoyed. He got up, a bit grumpy looking. "You still have a fever that you had since arriving. I'll tell Alphonse to get something for you in the morning."

        Winry returned with a damp white cloth, and kneels next to your sitting form. She dabs your head gingerly, and you noticed that it starts becoming stained a dark shade of red. Blood.

        You let Winry bandage you up, seeing that she had also brought new bandages. She tried to question what happened, but to be honest you didn't know. All you knew is that you blacked out. Upon hearing this, Edward became somewhat curious. He realized that something wasn't adding up, just like you were starting to think.

        After Envy had abandoned you at the age of seven, right after the incident that took away your hands, Aunt Pinako took you in as she had with Winry. You lived with them, often helping then run errands like groceries or spare parts. Winry was like a sister to you. That's why you didn't finch as her precise hands touched you as she worked diligently to patch you up.

       You knew that the blood on the floor was yours. But that still left you wondering about the gnarled floor. Envy could transform into his unleashed form, but he would be too big to fit in the room, so that ruled that out. They didn't look like any canine like creature, or large cat claw marks either. 

        "She needs rest you two," Aunt Pinako said, trembling somewhat in the doorway. She must've heard the commotion upstairs. She gasped as soon as she saw the condition of the room. "The room! Well... I'll clean this up I guess. But Winry, Edward, you should go get some rest, or at least let (Y/N) get some."

        Aunt Pinako left in a hurry. She must've had things to do.

        "I'm so sorry," you start, "I was sent here to protect you guys... seems like I'm not much help."

        "Don't be so hard on yourself (Y/N)," Winry starts, "Edward may be a great alchemist, but he still has those moments where his shortness catches up to him."

       "HEY!" Edward shouted, "WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT YOU COULD MEASURE WITH ONE RULER?!" His face turned red with anger.

        Winry laughed. She ended up having to drag Edward out of the room. You lied down in the bed in the room, but you didn't close your eyes. Too many things were going through your mind.

        

         _What does Envy want with me? What happened when I blacked out? What did he mean my homunculi personality has begun to take over?_

 _  
_The thoughts continued to swirl in your head, but eventually, you did manage to fall asleep.

        


	6. I Can't Let You Down

        As you awoke from your deep sleep, you felt no better rested than you had felt when you had went to bed. Your eyes felt heavy, and you felt like your head had weights in it. You had no intention of opening your eyes, even if it didn't feel like they were sewn shut. As if all that didn't make you feel bad enough, the right side of your body felt heavy for some peculiar reason.

        The bed sheets felt cold. Your legs and toes and fingers were all numb with coldness. As if on command, you begin to shiver violently.

        "(Y-Y/N)?" a sweet voice echoes.

        You tried to reply back to the all too familiar voice that you had been longing to hear for a while, but all that game out was a pathetic groan that was barely audible.

        The slight weight that was pressed against the right side of our body shifted, and you instantly became lighter. You realized that the boy in the armor had been leaning over you. You felt your hand gently being released, and you realize that he had also had both of his hands around your right hand. 

        A damp cloth shifted on your forehead.

        "You're still running a really high fever, even after the medication I gave you while you were sleeping."

        You pried your eyes open, which took a lot of effort. The light burned your eyes at first, and you blinked as your eyes watered up and tears rushed down your cheeks. Just out of the corner of your eyes you could see Alphonse standing at the bedside. Even though you couldn't see an expression, his metal helmet its same expressionless state as usual, you could tell by the heaviness of the air that Alphonse had to have been worrying over you for a while now.

        "Easy (Y/N), you need to rest. Your fever is really high."

        "Buh..." you attempt to question, but you can't quite seem to talk normally.

        "(Y/N)-" he starts to scold.

        "No... my job... I was sent here to protect you... no little fever.. is going to stop me... Alphonse.. I need to ..." you begin to ramble.

        "Shh..." he says gently, sitting on the very edge of your bed now. "It's okay. Roy got word from Edward about what happened last night. Armstrong came back, since he hadn't fully returned to Central. He's glad that everyone is okay."

        You wanted to get up out of bed. Sitting around like this made you anxious. What if Envy came back? What does he want with you?

        It was almost like Alphonse could sense your uneasiness, because he places his armored hand on your shoulder. You flinch, as a normal reaction to people touching you. 

        "I... u-uh-sorry!" he quickly stutters, pulling his hand away.

        "No! No! You're fine! I promise!"

        "O-oh... okay," he says quietly, "Do you feel okay? Anything I can do?"

        "I'm fine," you lie. You were really cold and wanted nothing but to get out of bed so that you would not hinder the Elrics.

        "You know... you're always really quiet when you lie," Alphonse states gently.

        "I... I'm cold..." you admit, feeling rather ashamed to show weakness. Even if it was in front of Alphonse... you could trust him right? But it wasn't like he knew.

        Alphonse started towards the door.

        "A-Alphonse...?" you ask quietly.

        "Yes (Y/N)?" he replies, turning in the doorway.

        "Why... why were you..." 

        You pause, a blush spreading into your face.

 _Why were you holding my hand?_ You wanted to ask him the question, but you were too embarrassed to ask. What if he thought you were weird for asking? What if he got mad for you asking why?

"What is it? Is something wrong? You can ask me (Y/N)."

"Holding my hand... why were you.. holding my hand...?"

A pink tint spread across Alphonse's armor face.

"I um..."

"Never mind... forget I asked. It was a stupid question."

You turned over onto your side slowly in bed, and closed your eyes. With no other choice after having shut him out, Alphonse slipped out of the room and down the hall, his armor clanking as he goes.  Somehow sleep found you again as a small, sad, and embarrassed tear slips silently down your cheek unnoticed. 


	7. Envy

        Despite all protests from everyone and the Rockbell house, you were up an out of bed two hours later. You were determined not to be a hindrance to the Elric's quest for the Philosopher's Stone.

        Armstrong had gotten train tickets for everyone to return to Central, saying that it would be best to check in with Roy. Of course, you and Edward were not very happy to hear about this, but unlike Edward you managed to keep that to yourself. 

        After exchanging farewells with Pinako and Winry, the four of you headed off to the train station. Along the way, Armstrong kept talking about his family and about the many talents that had been passed through the Armstrong family for generations. Other than that, the walk to the station was quiet. You couldn't help but sneak glances at Al, blushing. You two hadn't said a thing since he went to get you a blanket, which you had awoken with wrapped around you. Surprisingly, he was still in the room when you woke up. I guess when you can't sleep you don't have much else to do. He probably just pitied you.

        By the time you all reached the station, the train was already waiting. You boarded the train, both happy to leave Resembool along with it's awful memories it gave you, as well as sad, knowing you would be leaving Pinako and Winry. You also weren't exactly excited to see Mustang again, especially after having failed your mission and your last encounter.

 

_"(Y/N), I think you and I need to have a discussion when you get back about these... homoculi, yes?_

 

        You must've had a sad look on your face, because Armstrong speaks up.

        "Is there something wrong, Shadow?" Just like he occasionally called Edward Fullmetal, he calls you Shadow.

        "Oh!" You jump, having been looking out the train window silently,"N-nothing! I'm just thinking!"

        "Hmm," he replies, not seeming to quite buy into it, but he doesn't push for an answer. Ed gives you a somewhat suspicious look. 

        You return your eyes back to the window. Little did you know that Al was looking at you secretly as you did so.

                                                                                ***

        As you got off the train, yawning, following behind Alphonse silently. As you went down the steps to the ground, you stumbled. Alphonse managed to catch you. You could feel your face get hot, despite already having the fever. You had to admit however, that as the day went on, your fever had started to subside.

        "I... uh... thanks."

        "No problem," he muttered, shyly.

        After having made your way through Central with Armstrong and the Elrics, you found yourself in Mustang's office. He didn't seem to be very pleased to see anyone, but something told you that it wasn't just because of you.

        "Colonel Mustang. It's good to see you again,"  Armstrong greeted, adding a salute as he did so.

        "Now is not the time for formalities." 

        As you dared to venture closer to the Colonial's desk, you noticed that there were bags under Roy's eyes. His hair seemed to be a bit askew. Something must've been keeping him up lately.

        "Colonial. Forgive me for this in advance," you start, "But I think you might need some rest. I know it is not my place to say this but as a friend," You continued. Yes, you used the word friend. But if you were really going to get Mustang to take care of himself then it was going to take a bit of coaxing, and maybe a few sweet words. "I cannot allow you to continue on like this. How do you expect for us to count on you as our leader if you are barely able to stay awake?"

        Edward shot you a " _What the heck do you think you're doing?!"_ look. You simply ignored this glance. Armstrong stepped forward to your side.

        "With all do respect sir, I must agree with the Shadow Alchemist."

        Much to all of our surprise, Roy did not scold or yell at us. Instead, he gave us a wane smile that lasted for a few moments.

        "I appreciate your concern, but I am afraid that I simply cannot rest until I know that our newest threat has been detained and taken care of."

        "Then let us take care of it!" Alphonse exclaims, stepping behind me. Out of the corner of my eye you see Edward glaring at all of us, as if asking " _Have you all gone insane?!  Why are you helping Colonial Hot-Head?!"_

"I'm not sure you understand who we are up against," Mustang counters, folding his hands in front of his face. "It seems that one of our homunculi  _friends_ has decided to pay Central a visit."

        "Which one?" You ask, gulping.

        "Envy."

        "Envy?!" you exclaim, horrified. Your face became pale.

        "Wait! He was at the Rockbell house last night! He attacked (Y/N)," Edward says, somewhat angrily. 

        "That is troubling news indeed." Mustang puts his hands on his face for a moment, tired. He then removes them. "One of the military's troops that was able to get away from one of his attacks today informed me that he was looking for a particular State Alchemist."

        Mustangs eyes settled on you.

        "(Y/N), do you have any idea what he could want with you?"

        Everyone's eyes were on you. You looked down at the ground. "I... don't know sir," you state quietly.

        Mustang stands up from his office chair quietly. Alphonse gasps. He knows that you've lied. Edward is eyeing you with distrust now.

        "Miss (L/N), I can understand that this might be a little bit scary for you," Mustang says. He must know your secret for sure if he knows that much, "But I promise, I am only asking this as a precaution for your own safety. So please, answer truthfully. What does Envy want with you?"

        You looked up with him. Anxiety started to build.

 

         _How will they react? Now I have no other choice but to tell them. Why can't I be more skilled at lying?! What will Alphonse think? What will Edward think? Mustang? Armstrong? Will they try and kill me?_

 

        "I..." you begin to stutter. Tears started to pool in your eyes as the fear in your chest grew. "Envy is my father."

        


	8. Facing Your Father

 

You didn't know what to say after revealing your much despised and very surprising secret. All you knew is that most likely they would try to kill you for sure. You awaited the statements of rage and shock that you knew would proceed, clenching your fists and avoiding eye contact with everyone else.

But that moment, much to your surprise, never came.

"Wha..." both of the Elric brothers states in synchronization.

Roy gave you a somewhat sad look. Almost as if he pitied you. But is that even possible? Roy? Pity you?

"As I suspected..." Roy noted to himself quietly, although everyone including you could hear it.

"What do you mean? You mean you knew this the whole time?!" Edward remarked, his voice raising.

"Merely  _suspected._ "

Edward looks at you. His eyes are piercing. Distrustful. They reflect everything you feared you would see. You backed away from him slowly as his glare intensified.

"So... does that make you like him?! Are you a homunculi?!"

"What?! NO! I'm nothing like him!" You plead, your eyes widening.

You see something inside Edward's eyes. Almost like something clicked inside his mind. Or rather snapped. He lunges at you full force, his metal arm reaching for your neck. Within a moment, he has you pinned to the floor by your neck. You gasp as the air is knocked out of your lungs upon impact.

"Ed! Stop!" Alphonse cried.

"Fullmetal!" Roy and Armstrong said at the same time.

Ed's hands started to tighten around your delicate, fragile neck, cutting off your air supply. You choke and gasp, unsuccessfully trying to get air.

"EDWARD STOP RIGHT NOW!" Armstrong boomed.

Before Ed had the chance to do anything else to you, he was briskly pulled off you by Alphonse, who ended up throwing him to the other side of the room.

"What the HELL is wrong with you?!" Roy shouts, picking the stunned boy by his collar, "She's on our side you bastard!"

As you gasped to regain your breath, coughing, Alphonse gently helped you back up to your feet.

"We can't trust her! She's a  _homunculi_!"

"Not quite..." Roy started.

"Huh?" both you and Ed exclaimed.

"Ed, you might want to take a seat, this is going to take a moment to explain."

Not before giving you a menacing glare, Edward sat on the red couch. Armstrong set his hands on your shoulders gently, as a protective gesture. Alphonse looked at you and Edward quietly.

"You see, (Y/N)'s mother used to be a state alchemist as well. She was known as the Viper Alchemist, being a very swift and effective alchemist. That is, until she was murdered.

Natalie (L/N) moved to the countryside of Resembool for a little while on a temporary leave to raise her three year old child after the death of her husband, who happened to be killed by Envy, something we found out just a little while ago due to evidence arising. Somehow he was able to also kill (Y/N) as well."

"That makes absolutely no sense!" Edward shouted in rage.

"Don't you think I know that you bastard?!" Roy shouted back, "That's why we need to keep (Y/N) safe! Somehow she was brought back, and somehow she is now half-homunculi! We need to know how this happened, because somehow someone figured out human-transmutation!"

Silence spread throughout the room, making the mood in the air tense.

"...I'll protect her," Alphonse spoke up.

"What?! No! I don't want you anywhere near her!" Edward screamed at Alphonse.

Silence spread through the room again. You may have not seen the Elrics for a while, but you knew that Edward never yelled at Alphonse. Ever.

"Brother," Alphonse stated, his voice sounding cold now, "This is my choice. You can't tell me what to do."

"Of course I can! I'm your older brother and you will do what I say!"

"NO!" Alphonse yelled, slamming his fist into the back of the couch. His voice now sounded fragile, almost as if he was... crying, "Don't you think that (Y/N) would've killed us already if she wanted to? What about our childhood? Do you not remember that? Do you not remember all the games the three of us used to play?! Tell me, did you think she was such a monster back then as you do now?! She's the same person that she was then, and if she can help you get your arm and leg back and help me get my body back, then I will do whatever it takes to protect her!"

... _did you think she was such a monster back then..._

 

Your eyes widened with hurt and shock. "...M-monster?"

Tears stung your eyes as you tried to keep them from streaming down your cheeks.

"N-No! (Y-Y/N), that's not what I meant!" Al stuttered.

He tried to approach you, but you shook Armstrong's hands off your shoulders.

"Don't come near me!" You warned, "You're right. I don't want to hurt you."

You turned and ran out of the office before anyone could stop you. You heard Roy, Armstrong, and most of all, Al, trying to call you to come back. But you didn't care. You kept running until you had cleared the building, even with Maes and Riza chasing after you.

You ran quickly through the streets, knowing that Riza with her swiftness would most likely be at your heels still. Ducking through alley after alley, until you came to what seemed to be a library.

By then you had lost even Riza about five blocks back or so.

  _I should hide in here so they don't find me._

 

You entered the library. Strange enough, there was no librarian to greet you as you entered.

"Perhaps she is helping someone right now?" you murmured, somewhat gladly to yourself. The last thing you needed right now was to accidentally hurt a nice librarian on accident if somehow your homunculi self was triggered.

As you got further and further into the shelves lined with books, you started to get an eerie feeling that you just couldn't shake. That feeling that tells you that maybe you need to leave as soon as possible. That's when you saw it.

Lying on the floor next to a bookshelf was a crippled and bloodied body. It was unmoving. Not breathing. The librarian was laying with her books, dead. You held in a scream. Whoever did this was likely still in the library. You needed to get out. Now.

Just as you turned to leave, you heard something behind you. You turned to find that no one was there, which only scared you even more. Your heart started to beat even faster as adrenaline started to pump through your veins.

"I smeeeellll her..." a somewhat high-pitched voice cried, sounding joyful.

"Hush now, Gluttony. We wouldn't want to scare our little...  _friend..._ " a woman said from behind you.

You turned to find a woman with pitch black hair, a black dress, and violet-red eyes. With her was a short, hunched over figure, that was well built with white voids for eyes.

"Can I eat her Lust?" the hunched figure, presumably Gluttony, asked the woman.

"No Gluttony," Lust chided, "She's a guest."

You were frozen with fear. These were homunculi, and never before had you seen more than one at a time.

"Envy!" Lust called out behind her.

A shadowy figure walked forward out of the dimly lit area, and into better lighting.

"Hello (Y/N)," he smirked, "Glad you can join us."

" _Father_..." you spat, venom in your voice. You were about to transmute your hands into claws, but Lust's own hands turned into long claws. It extended out and pinned you by both of your shoulders. You cried out as you slammed into the shelf behind you.

Envy walked forward and sneered, "Shall we get this party started? I have a feeling it's going to be... a flaming sensation!"


	9. The Watch

Alphonse's POV:

Wherever she was I had to find her. I wish she had given me the chance to explain myself. I hadn't meant what I said. When you think yourself a monster, when you are trapped in a suit of armor and can't feel or eat or sleep, and you find yourself seeing someone in a similar situation, it can make you say things too fast.

I can't remember how long I was out searching the streets. Brother even started to help me look after a little while. It seems that I have talked some sense into him after all. But it wasn't long when I saw smoke billowing up into the air.

Immediately, I got a bad feeling that whatever was causing that smoke had to do with (Y/N). My feet started to carry me before Edward could protest. Before I even knew I was running, I was. Fear built up inside of me.

It took me a while to get there, and apparently, it had been going on for a while before I even noticed the smoke in the air.

The scene when I got there was a mess of people gathered around the now charred library. Medics were searching through the rubble of the now put out fire. There was a body recovered. The librarian they said. But something told me that (Y/N) was somewhere near this place at the time. A fire around the same time (Y/N) ran as a homunculi was out on the loose seemed too coincidental.

I searched around in the ashes. For a clue. For anything. Thats when I found (Y/N)'s State Alchemist watch. The one she never left anywhere. It was laying in the ash, speckled in blood.

Edward came up behind me, seeing the watch just like me.

"Envy."

I nodded, trying my best not to break down. Brother put a hand on my armor.

"We'll find her Al. Don't worry."


	10. Her Homunculi Side

 

You woke up in darkness. The last thing you remember was the choking smoke as it burned your lungs and eyes. That's when you passed out.

You tried to get up to examine your surroundings only to find that you were chained to a wall by shackles. You were already sitting as you leaned against the wall. The iron around your wrists and ankles was tight, and rather hurt. You knew better than to scream though. If what you thought was correct, then Envy had to be nearby. To scream would be to give him pleasure in your pain and fear. You were about to do no such thing.

You sat in silence for maybe a couple minutes when your eyes adjusted to the darkness. You noticed a pair of glowing, reddish purple eyes about twelve feet away. You simply looked at them, not saying a word.

 

  _So that's where that sneaky homunculi is._

"I can see you, you bastard," you grumbled bitterly.

Envy started giggling mischievously from his corner. He got up from his crouching position and started making his way slowly towards you. He grabbed your chained up hands and forced you roughly against the wall. 

"Now is that any way to treat your father,  _little one_?" he hissed with a large smirk.

You let out a small inhuman growl at him, which only made him smile even more.

"What was that (Y/N)? It sounds like someone is getting a little feisty. Go on. Show daddy your homunculi side..." he cooed evilly. 

The insides of you felt sick and stirred up, almost as if something were eating you from the inside out. Whatever it was you resisted the urge to lunge at Envy. That was what he wanted, and you weren't about to give it to him. You turned your head away from him defiantly.

Envy's smirk faded away into a scowl. He grabbed you roughly by your chin, and you squeaked. 

"You  _will_ obey me!" he growled, before slapping you hard across your cheek. Your head jerked hard to the side, his smack surprisingly harder than you expected it would be. You let out a small cry of pain.

Something snapped inside of you. A mix of sadness and rage burst forth and you squirmed free of Envy's grip. He watched you as you transformed quickly, breaking free of the chains around your wrists and ankles. But at the same time, it was like your humanity was  fading away as well. New thoughts replaced your urge to escape. Thoughts of pain and fear, but also thoughts of revenge and wanting to kill. Kill everything and everyone.

"And here we have it," Envy said, chuckling madly, "Agony is born!"

***

Alphonse's POV

 

...Three Days Later...

 

Brother and I had tracked down the homunculi to the outskirts of Central. Ed seemed a bit skeptical however, thinking that it had been a bit too easy to track them down. He, however, seemed to be getting as worried as I had been the last three long days (Y/N) had been gone. 

Roy had already sent out a couple of state alchemists to try and search elsewhere for (Y/N), just in case on the off chance she wasn't with the homunculi. But I think we all knew that she was with them. It just happened to be a good excuse to get some of the less power state alchemists out of the city, and out of harms way.

Ed, Hawkeye, Roy, and I were all quietly approaching an old warehouse on the very edges of what people assumed to be Central, but it was so far out, it almost was in the middle of nowhere. It made me wonder why a warehouse would be here in the first place, but that didn't seem to be the question on Ed's mind.

Everyone had already discussed the plan. Ed and I would search the lower levels of the warehouse, while Roy and Riza went on the upper levels. 

Brother and I entered the lower level as quiet as we could manage. Ed had already transmuted his hand into a blade, just in case. Once we had decided the current room to be clear, we moved on slowly to the next room.

"I don't like the feeling I am getting Al..." Ed murmured.

Suddenly, Envy stepped out from the shadows. 

"Well well well. If it isn't pipsqueak and the walking trashcan," he taunted with a smirk.

Edward growled at the insult, getting into an aggressive stance.

"Now now, let's not get hasty. After all, you do want your dearest (Y/N) back,  _don't you?_ "

Now it was my turn to get angry. The metal of my armor clanked as I balled up my fists. "Where is she!? What have you done to her?!" I shouted at the homunculi.

Envy giggled mischievously. "Now now. How about we calm down?" 

Edward was about to lunge at the homunculi when Envy snapped his fingers. Edward stopped, looking a bit confused. "What the hell was that supposed to do?"

"Do? What do you mean?" Envy said, playing coy.

But that's when we heard the sound of metal chains being dragged on the floor, and the sound of bare feet slapping the concrete. 

(Y/N)'s clothing was tattered and bloodied. She had various bruises on her face, arms, and legs, and her face had a gash on her left cheek. She looked weak and miserable on the outside. But then I saw her eyes. They were both glowing a reddish purple, exactly like Envy's. Exactly like a homunculi.

"(Y-Y/N)?" I stuttered, horror in my voice.

(Y/N)'s eyes squeezed tightly shut, and she grumbled. Now that I looked carefully, she was incredibly pale, almost as white as a piece of paper.

"Oh, but that's not what she goes by anymore," he says, his smirk widening, "She much rather prefers her new name. Isn't that right Agony?"

(Y/N)'s eyes snapped open, and she trembled a bit as she answered. "Y-Yes E-Envy..."

He walked over to her and patted her head. She flinched, bowing her head down with each pat. "Atta girl."

Edward gritted his teeth. "Enough of this bullshit!" 

Edward charged right for Envy, who easily dodged out of the way. 

"Agony! You get the tin one! You know how to kill that one!" Envy commanded. 

(Y/N) nodded determinedly at Envy, and focused a glare on me. It was almost like she didn't even know me. There was a small, dull purple glow. (Y/N) morphed into a humanoid form. Her entire body seemed to be made from shadows and darkness. Her fingers were long and her hair flowed suspended all around her, as long as she was tall. 

"(Y/N), please... I don't want to hurt you..." I said quietly to her, backing away slightly.

" _I no longer go by that name..._ " She said, her voice sounding like three combined into one: one fearful, one sad, and one angry.

Instead of attacking me like any other homunculi, she slowly approached me eerily, her hand extended as if to touch me.

"Alphonse! What are you doing?!" Edward yelled at me. 

I was frozen in place. I couldn't hurt (Y/N)! Even if I wanted to! I liked her too much to let anything worse come to her.

Edward swooped out in front of me and sliced at he hand. It seemed to do nothing, almost as if she were made of vapor. Her hand reached out, and touched Edward's chest, solidifying as soon as she made contact. Edward yelped, and his eyes went wide. He went limp and fell to the ground, trembling and unmoving.

"Brother!" I yelled worried.

Envy snickered. "So much for the Fullmetal brat. Now to get rid of the tin can... "

(Y/N) came closer and closer to me. All I could do was back away cautiously, until I was up against the wall. There was no way I could get her to go away, since she was made completely out of vapor.

"(Y/N)... please.. it's Alphonse!"

The glow in her eyes flickered slightly, but it did nothing to stop her. Soon, her hand was right on my metal armor. 

Memories of sadness rushed through my head all at once like an avalanche. Memories of me being ripped apart bit by bit when Ed and I committed the ultimate taboo. The memory of me trying to save my dying brother. The day that our mother died.

I tried my best to block out the thoughts, trying to replace them with happy memories, but it was like my mind was locked on only those sad memories. I whimpered as I had to relive them all over and over. I became paralyzed with fear and sadness. My armor body slid down the wall and onto the floor. 

(Y/N) used her other hand to take off my helmet, examining the blood seal on the inside.

Edward looked up at me, still trembling. He must've still had the memories paralyzing him. "A-A-Al..." he whimpered.

I tried to fight back against the memories being forced into my head. I tried to replace them with happier memories, like the times that Ed, Winry, (Y/N), and I used to play together as kids. I thought of the times that (Y/N) and I would hang out by the pond near our house when Ed was busy learning more about alchemy.

(Y/N) froze and whimpered, her shadowy form flickering away. It was almost like my happy thoughts was making her... weaker.  I started gaining control over myself again, as did Edward. Ed got up. 

"I got this..." I said quietly as he was about to interfere. 

He nodded slightly and went after Envy who had fled upstairs. I gently put my hands on (Y/N)'s shoulders.

"I know you're in there (Y/N), and I know you can hear me..." I said softly, channeling my favorite memory of her and I.  I thought of when I found out she had came to Resembool but was sick with a fever. I thought of when I had been holding her hand as she slept quietly, leaning over her protectively as I thought of how cute she looked while she was sleeping. I thought of how I thought how beautiful and cute and amazing she was as a person, and how much I realized I was falling for her.

After only a few moments of that, she collapsed to her knees, human form, and human eyes. I quickly wrapped my metal arms around her.

"(Y/N)," I said gently, my voice cracking with worry.

She slumped gently into me. "A... Al... w-what... you shouldn't be here..." she mumbled in an exhausted tone.

I looked down at her,  and her eyes were loosely closed. She was quite pale and looked very worn down. It looked like Envy tortured her. 

"Shhh..." I said softly. I scooped her up gently in my arms, bringing her in close to me.

"Alphonse! Are you okay?" Edward called out, running quickly into the room. Roy and Hawkeye followed quickly after. They were relieved to find I was okay. 

"What happened?" Edward asked worriedly. 

"I got through to her but she just kinda collapsed. We need to get her some help," I said quickly, rushing past them and upstairs. They nodded and followed quickly after. Riza caught up and put a hand to (Y/N)'s forehead.

"She feels like she's burning up!" she exclaimed nervously.

"I'm sure we can get her into the infirmary quickly once we get into the center of Central," Roy assured her, but you could tell that he was worried himself. She didn't look like she was doing very good.

We need to hurry. I'm not going to lose her again.


End file.
